


Stars.

by magicalshifter



Category: The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: 5+1 Things, After the war against Gaia, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Leo Angst, Moving On, Not really any plot, POV Alternating, angst from other characters too, idk how to tag, kind of, leo centric, so uh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 10:21:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13339221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicalshifter/pseuds/magicalshifter
Summary: 5 times Leo wasn't okay, and one time he was.--..It’s not much, not really. It won’t get rid of the fear in Leo’s eyes, won’t remove anything of the sort. But it’s a visual thing. A visual reminder that it’s never going to be this bad again. A way to tell him that it’s okay for him to never use his powers again. It’s okay for him to take as long as he needs.They’ll all be there. Together. Forgetting the pain and letting the victories settle in their minds. A gentle wave goodbye to the pain, a wave goodbye to the war.A wave hello to new beginnings.





	Stars.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written purely for myself, and I originally didn't intend on sharing it. I decided to because, why not? 
> 
> It might not be easy to understand, since my writing is all over the place sometimes. I just went with the flow.
> 
> I also implied that Calypso and Leo break up-- but the ending is open? So interpret that how you wish.  
> Relationships are there, but only if you squint. I focused more on the platonic side of things.
> 
> I completely ignored Trials of Apollo when writing this, by the way. Oops.

 

He has stims. He has things he does to keep himself occupied. Small things, like flipping a spanner in his non-dominant hand. Whistling a tune. Tapping out the words I love you in morse code. They’re usually done without a single thought. Because they're things he does sometimes, they’re not important. 

 

But people pick up on these things. At first it’s always a simple, “Could you stop tapping?” or a glare in his general direction when he starts whistling again. It’s all just things he does, until he realises that it’s the same songs, the same words, the same everything. It’s always the small things, he muses, because he knows himself better than anyone else. He’s the one who told himself things would be okay, when they were spiralling downwards. He’s the one who let himself cry and held himself. 

 

Not Jason, not Piper, not anyone. He did it himself. 

 

_IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou_. It’s a continuous beat, and it’s nostalgic and loving. It's sad and happy and it's everything at once, so he doesn’t pay attention to it. Let’s himself do it unconsciously. Doesn’t think about her smile or her hair or her eyes, doesn’t think about her voice singing to him late in the night. He doesn’t think about it, just let’s himself be. 

 

 

** :i: **

 

When Calypso picks up on it, it’s the whistling. The same notes, the same nostalgia hidden behind his eyes. It’s at night, when he seems so much sadder than he looks in the mornings. It’s in the pure fear, hidden behind jokes and flirting. When she leaves, it’s the whistling that follows her. Not him, not his warmth or his fire or his jokes or his laugh. It’s the same whistling she’s heard so many times. 

 

It makes her sad, that there were parts of him he never trusted her enough to share. 

 

So she mentions it, in a casual “Why does he continue to whistle?” She mentions it, but she makes it a brief “It’s always the same.” rather than telling anyone about the worries that plague her sometimes. Because friends look out for each other, and thats all they are now. Friends. Because she wanted to be free and she was so tired of falling in love. So, so tired. She tells Piper, because she knows him well. She knows how he works. But Piper is nonchalant, with a mere “It’s one of his things. Just one of the things he does.” 

 

So in turn, Calypso stops thinking about it. Tunes him out when he starts whistling, too casual for it to be anything meaningful. She tries not to snap at him, not anymore, but whenever he whistles, that same constant tune.. she snaps. It’s in those moments that she convinces herself of the truth. The hurt in his eyes when she told him to _Shut it!_ was all imaginary. Because Leo is open. He’s a book, and she would know. 

 

She would _know._

 

 

** :i: **

 

Nico doesn’t talk to Leo. They don’t get along. But Nico doesn’t really talk to anyone nowadays, except for a few people, so he doesn’t think about it. Sometimes,he’ll see the older boy with a glazed over look in his eye. He'll see him frown before he stops himself from tapping out that tune he does. 

 

Percy told him enough. “He blames himself. It reminds him of her.” Nico was told, too. Leo's mother was killed with fire. But Nico doesn’t see the fear, doesn’t see the hatred. What he does see is the longing. He sees the loneliness. It was the same, so recognisable. The same loneliness that Nico was so, so familiar with, because Bianca was dead. It hadn’t been so bad, either. But she moved on. It still hurts sometimes. 

 

He doesn’t think they notice, not really. Because while each of the 7 know what loss is, they’re not so familiar with loneliness. They’re not so familiar with the bone chilling sorrow that comes with it. Not familiar with the hot tears that are too warm for someone with such a cold heart. The sleepless nights and all the _tears_. Reyna, maybe. She knows what loss is. But she doesn’t know what it is to blame yourself, to be so caught up on the loss. Reyna, he thinks, knows how to let go of things. 

 

Leo? Not so much. 

 

But Nico doesn’t do feelings so much as he hides them. He can’t express things, can’t tell Leo that things like this happen. Because Leo knows. He’s an orphan and lost, lost within his own mind and if only he could let go and trust that someone will catch him. 

 

Nico doesn’t know what it is to run away from each foster home you’re thrown into. He knows what it is to feel like you’ve been struck some kind of sick deal. He knows who will help. 

 

But it’s not his place to ask for help. Some people heal alone, and while Leo is.. more social than Nico will ever be, he is if anything, a journal. All bright colours and locked doors, with sorrow held within. Nico never understood why diaries were coloured so brightly. He thinks now, he could guess. 

 

_ Fire makes up for Leo’s blue heart.  _

 

Sometimes Nico wishes to be good with feelings. To be good at expressing himself, to be anything other than a son of Hades. But Nico was abandoned, and Leo.. Leo was hurt. That is in of itself quite a different thing. 

 

So instead of having a heart to heart by the fire, instead of telling anyone the horrors of loneliness.. he leaves a CD on Leo’s bedside. 

 

..Music is a good escape when you know what to listen to. 

 

 

** :i: **

 

Jason sees the loss. He knows what it is to loose someone.. to futilely try to save them and instead loose yourself somewhere along the way. 

 

He knows that they are doing all they can, but it’s not very noticeable. He sees it in Leo’s glance to Nico, the small smile Nico returns in favour of seeing Leo at peace. He sees it at night, when he can’t sleep and he spies Leo at the ocean’s edge, headphones in. 

 

He figures that there isn’t much he can do. He’s still getting over his own loss, they both need time to heal. That’s what it’ll take— time. So when nightmares wake him up, when he once again sees his mother, all too vivid in his dreams, he doesn’t go to Piper. 

 

He instead, goes to his friend. Goes to the one person who will understand the nightmares. The one person who will understand the silence Jason leaves in his wake. The person who, for all his jokes, for all his laughter.. is shockingly silent when the sun falls. 

 

_ “You found faith but you, chose to doubt it _

 

_ You found love but you, left without it _

 

_ And now you don't want, to talk about it..”  _

 

It’s quiet. There is the waves, splashing reassuringly against the shore. There is Leo, at his side with dark rings under his eyes, like Jason’s own. There is a blanket of comfort, lain over the two. There is the silence of understanding. There is music. 

 

Songs fly by in moments. Both of them are too caught up in the moment and in their thoughts to speak. Neither asks why the other is there. Jason knows he can’t do much to ease his friends sorrow. But he can sit here and be a calm presence by his side. Thats all Leo needs. Thats all _Jason_ needs. 

 

..Comfort. They need comfort. 

 

No harsh words or ugly truths. War is filled too much with those. Instead it leaves silence. It’s eerie. Calming and sweet. Nothing is said, not when Jason sits down the first night, nor the nights that come after. Not when Leo falls asleep on Jason’s shoulder. Not when he wakes up, snug in his bed and with his headphones on his bedside. 

 

It’s silent. It’s nice. 

 

It’s alive with the thrum of music, too, but even that is oddly quiet. 

 

 

** :i: **

 

Percy sees it in the smiles. The sadness hidden behind that doesn’t really leave. He knows what it is to blame yourself. He knows, because he sat alone too many nights, lost to his thoughts. 

 

Too many what ifs. Thats always the problem. 

 

_ I could’ve stopped it I could’ve done something She didn’t need to suffer the way she did.  _

 

Because statues are cold, but Percy suspects Gabe’s heart was like that long before his body matched. Because things like that stay in your memory forever. Because Percy and his mother? They would always be looking behind their backs, waiting for the lights to fall and the act to drop. 

 

But what do you do? How are you meant to tell someone that it wasn’t their fault? Because the problem with all things is that people are individual. They learn alone, they evolve alone. Percy can’t tell Leo what it is to blame yourself, because Leo knows. He knows a different version, but he still knows. Percy can’t teach Leo the ways of this world. He can guide him, sure, but Leo.. all he needs is time. 

 

What do you gift to someone who wishes to move on?

 

Annabeth notices his indecision, of course. “What’s bothering you?” she asks. But she has her own problems. The betrayal of so many people still aching in her heart, so different to Leo’s suffering. She has Percy. He realises that while Leo has so many people surrounding him, he must still feel so alone. 

 

He notices then. He sees Nico give Leo small, sad smiles. He sees them glance to each other for silent support. He sees Jason, carrying Leo to bed, headphones dangling around his neck and a fond smile on his face. He sees Calypso’s worried glances every so often. He knows that she is lost in her own struggles, still trying desperately to bring her magic back. Percy doesn’t know how hard it is to say goodbye to something you relied upon for so long. He imagines it would be.. hard. Most things are. 

 

Leo builds. He distracts himself, loosing himself in his work and his inventions and his thoughts. So Percy thinks that maybe, that is what he can give. Something to distract. A small something that says “Take your time. We’re here.” Something perhaps as simple as the music gifted by Nico, or the companionship gifted by Jason. 

 

One day he approaches Leo. “Hey.” 

 

“I know I’m irresistible, but is there a reason you’re here?” He says, all nonchalant until the last sentence. Leo's glare could break through glass and shoot daggers into the sky. But blaming yourself comes with anger, and Percy doesn’t blame Leo for needing to let the anger out. He's glad Leo found a distraction. Because without it?Leo would break down, all at once with tears and fists and fire. But it doesn’t stop Percy from feeling like he’s not supposed to be here. 

 

.. After all, Leo is vulnerable and he doesn’t want to share his emotions. 

 

But Percy hopes he can give Leo something else to calm his anger. So he holds out the colouring book, suddenly filled with a twinge of insecurity. 

 

“I know you’re struggling, I was hoping—“

 

Leo’s eyes light up, that kind of happiness you don’t see very often anymore. That genuine thankfulness, as if he’s just now realised what he has. 

 

“I.. Percy, _thank you_.” 

 

Percy knows, by this point, that it’s not necessarily the gift that makes Leo so speechless. It’s the fact that people care. It’s the reminder that everything is okay, that everyone understands and you don’t have to explain it to them. 

 

It doesn’t remove Percy’s nightmares, but his frown seems to have left him. Annabeth hugs him, “You did well.” He kisses her goodnight, because he’s so grateful she’s here. 

 

..Sometimes gifts go both ways. 

 

 

** :i: **

 

Piper sees the fear. It’s in his eyes, hidden behind a careful mask of smiles and jokes. 

 

She's aware of it, because she sees the same hidden behind her makeup. Things like that are always hidden. 

 

It’s one thing to be scared of the future. Another thing to be scared of your own powers. Piper knows what it is to fear. She knows, because with only 2 words she could end someones life. With one joke, she could ruin everything. But Leo has done so well! He’s been braver than anyone noticed. He used his powers even though the same fire that warms him causes his heart to freeze over with emotion. 

 

He’s done so well. But she hasn’t seen that fire in months now, and she’s starting to worry. So what do you do when your friend is scared? You comfort them, usually. Piper thinks she needs the comfort as much as Leo, but its not a question of whether he needs it or not. Piper won't scare him away with her talk of promises and half-truths. Instead, she thinks, a group hug may be in order. 

 

“Jason, the war is over. A little celebration is needed, don’t you think?” She says, a glimmer in her eyes. She knows, they’ve already had a celebration. But she means one with just them. Just the demigods that were on the quest. Not even a celebration, really. More of a.. small party to say that _It’s over, we’re okay._

 

Jason agrees. They all agree. 

 

..It’s not much, not really. It won’t get rid of the fear in Leo’s eyes, won’t remove anything of the sort. But it’s a visual thing. A visual reminder that it’s never going to be this bad again. A way to tell him that it’s okay for him to never use his powers again. It’s okay for him to take as long as he needs. 

 

They’ll all be there. Together. Forgetting the pain and letting the victories settle in their minds. A gentle wave goodbye to the pain, a wave goodbye to the war. 

 

A wave hello to new beginnings. 

 

 

** :i: **

 

It’s midnight. Leo is sitting there, his friends asleep around him. He has his headphones dangling from his neck, and is staring at the fire that was placed oh so far away from him. He’s like a moth, really, because he couldn’t stay away. 

 

It’s in the noise. In the gentle hum of the wind and the quiet snores of his friends. It’s in the crackling of the fire and the light that illuminates his face, the grass, the trees. He gives up on the fire, turns to the sky instead. 

 

To the sky, a place filled with stars. Lightyears away. Leo wonders what it would be like to be so lonely. He knows, deep down. That small, insecure speck that has always known what it would be like. But it’s not relevant. Not anymore. He’s not worthless, he’s not a seventh wheel. He’s Leo. 

 

He’s a half-blood. 

 

His friends see his struggles. Likewise, he sees theirs. It’s a circle of pain, but every time it goes around it gets weaker. It’s being replaced by happiness, and it started off slow. But it’s still going. Leo wants to see the day when his friends can replace the darkness and sorrow in their eyes for happiness. 

 

He’s not scared of fire. It’s linked to some childhood trauma, probably, but it’s not all that bad. It will be easy to get over. Funny how things work out. Because he loves it. 

 

Not fire, no. He doesn't love fire. Rather, he loves what it symbolises. The hope that burns bright. The determination. He’s sure his friends could agree. 

 

Leo knows what it is to be a half-blood. What it is to be both the Gods and the mortals. What it is to feel pain and to fight in war. Nobody should go through that. Ever. But they do. People always do. 

 

Leo can survive. He has done so already. He’s almost ready to let go, to let himself be caught by his friends. He’s almost ready, and that in itself is a nice reminder. 

 

_“buenas noches, amor.”_

 

Says his mothers voice, far off in his memory but still there. She was a star. 

 

..They’re all stars.

**Author's Note:**

> So thats the story. It was really short, too, but I might add onto it one day. Maybe include the other characters.. that would be cool. 
> 
> <3


End file.
